So now it is a little bit later.....

...and I have been up through out the night....I keep sleeping for short bursts and having intense dreams and then waking up with an intense erection.

I fell asleep twice last night...once for an hour and once for an hour and a half.

In the first sleep I dreamed that I was fucking my friend's mom....she was as limber as could be and it felt amazing. But my family was calling me to come to dinner and we didn't want them to find out that we were fucking each other but we didnt want to stop. So we moved and I tried to appease my family that I would be out soon and then we were on a bed and really going at it...it was almost as if I were floating and holding her hip joint and she was draped over my hand and I was fucking her harder and harder from behind like that, the movement so fluid, but then I looked around and up behind me to the right and it seemed like I saw someone's head peeping over something through a window on an upper floor and then looked back over to the left a bit and there was my family around the dinner table above me and I could see that they could see me fucking her and so we went down on to the floor hoping that they had not seen me (but knowing that they had) and we kept fucking and then I woke up.

I awoke with an erection so hard that it hurt....I went to the restroom to try and pee but I couldn't.

I went back to bed, the erection subsided and I fell asleep.

Then I dreamed that I was in the third world somewhere...I can't really remember where or what I was doing, but it was impoverished and the people were so gentle and treated me with such courtesy, and then I was on a lawn at Oxford and there was a thud on the ground and then another and another and I looked up and from a second or third story balcony a guy was throwing puppies off the balcony for fun...there were hundreds of them now being thrown. THUD THUD THUD...I could see them in mid air and see the guys on the balcony laughing as they threw the puppies and I was appalled.

I got so fucking pissed off that all of a sudden I was right next to the balcony looking in through the railing and I told them to stop and then I grabbed one of them who laughed at me by the hair and pulled him through the railing and then used his body to beat the others. And beat them I did.

Within seconds they had stopped and scattered but the blows that had hit them were severe and fucking awful in the fury contained in them. I was literally swinging this guy around like a club.

Then I had a microphone and started to talk about the impoverished nation I had just been in and the horrific nature of the spoiled brats here in the oppulent garden of learning, and how they should thank their lucky stars that they have it so good.

Again I awoke...again with an intense erection...but this time I really did have to pee.

I hate the thought of getting aroused by violence as I find it so distasteful, but what the fuck was that dream and the boner about?

An Introduction

I am dating a woman who is beautiful and has herpes simplex A (i think--its the kind you get on your mouth). Yesterday she went to the doctor because she has been having issues with her poonan since we started boning two weeks ago. She also had recently found a lump in her breast and has had breast cancer before.

I spoke to her on the phone a few hours after she had been to the doctor and she sounded really shook up. She said she had gotten some news that she had not been expecting. I asked her if she wanted to talk about it, she said 'No' and then she cut off the conversation quickly, and said 'have a nice night'. It was only four in the afternoon.

So I was thinking that she had learned a very bad prognosis for the breast lump or something. It did not occur to me that she had actually learned that I had given her an STD....

So...yeah, I guess I gave her an STD and need to go check out myself.

The ironic part of this is that I literally finished reading Henry Miller's Tropic of Cancer this morning. If you have not read it, The Clap features prominently throughout the second half of the book. And it is most likely that I have it.

:)

The most despicable part of this entire episode is that I sent her a text message saying "I am coming into the city and would love to see you." Then, when I received no response (I did not know about the STD thing at this point), I called another girl and went out with her and she literally humped me until I could not walk without shaking. It took me about two solid hours to feel completely normal afterward. A plump little 22 year old redhead girl. I have a major thing for redheads and their soft skin. It was delightful

Then when I was finished with her I realized that my phone had been off and the beautiful woman I am dating had actually tried to call me a number of times between 7 and 10 pm....while I was working my way into the redhead's pants. Fortunately we used protection.

The question I have though is: Who gave it to me?

This is probably going to sound fucked up, but I have no idea...I have been having unprotected sex with multiple women for the better part of a year here in NYC and loving every minute of it...and by "multiple" I mean I have lost count.

I should feel horrible, but I don't...there are worse things to do out there, and people have done, and will continue to do, them. But I am definitely going to start using condoms now....I just hope I get out of this with just The Clap.